Attitude Adjustment

Sept. 6, 1991
Originally published by Sacramento Bee

In 1988, Jesuit High School took a chance on me despite my less-than-perfect grades. My mother had doubts about my seriousness and wanted me to go to Rio Americano, the public high school closest to my home. But I convinced her that I could cut it at Jesuit, a very academically demanding school. I knew I could do it, but it would take consistency, good study habits and much more maturity than I had displayed in junior high school.

I’d like to blot junior high from my memory. I did not work up to my standards or my potential. And being a black at a predominantly white school, I was a loner who didn’t have many close friends. I was an outcast my eighth-grade year because of what happened when the book The Contender, a novel about a black youth who aspires to be a boxer, was required reading.

This was 1987, not 1967, the year in which the book was written. The novel contained black characters with low self esteem and negative values. Twenty years later, both whites and blacks did not need tto read only about blacks struggling, they needed also to learn about African-Americans who have contributed to society and who prosper.

The book also contained racial slurs and degrading messages that I didn’t care for. So my mother demanded that the book be removed from the required-reading list. This was met with great hostility by white students and parents who didn’t understand why it was removed. For the rest of the year, I was ostracized--because we had tried to do the right thing and bring in more positive, relevant, modern-day African-American role models.

But I won’t be one-sided and say that everything was against me; I didn’t get along well with my peers because I was immature and would mouth off too much. The school had problems, but I had problems too. I would get into conflicts with other kids because I would act like a jerk.

Being neither immensely talented nor as wealthy as some of my Jesuit classmates, my success has come primarily from long, hard, consistent work, and being able to get up and move forward time and time again after various disappointments. Currently, I have compiled a C grade-point average, which may not be impressive, but I have vastly improved, in terms of intangibles and attitude, since my first year.

One of the biggest keys to any student’s success is his and his family’s attitude. I can honestly say that my family is one of the more emotional, outspoken, supportive and enthusiastic families around.

I used to look at top students’ report cards and try to figure out what made them so smart. But I couldn’t pick up anything significant. Maybe not knowing their strategy helped me figure it out: You have to be willing to be dedicated and to work very diligently. That’s not something that I have always done, but I have learned that the best don’t get there with ability alone.

I took a lot of flak for being an undistinguished student trying to get into a prestigious high school. But I knew the only way I would become a capable student was with passion, drive and tenacity. I now know that the only way I could acquire these skills was not by looking at the topmost students, but the middle-range achievers. Someday, when I want it bad enough, I will become a dominant student in college. I will excel, I just know it. It’s dawning on me how good I can be when I put my mind to it. I’m on a roll--and I won’t stop. I can be a success--but only when I put my mind to it.

I try to keep a positive attitude and stay happy with myself. Every day I keep my poise and work for better things. Even though I haven’t attained everything I wanted at Jesuit, I haven’t given up. Look at my grade record, and you’ll see that I may be in the middle-to-lower percentage, but if the criteria were heart, versatility and coolness under fire, I probably would be an honor-roll student, which is something I’m going to try to be this year. It would be a great story to see me on that list--finally.

I may not be the best, but I have worked hard to get where I am, and that’s good enough for me. When I came to Jesuit three years ago, I was a good person at heart, but I was a loser in many ways. I say this to you: Sometimes winners are losers who just won’t quit!