Gina’s Roadside Truckstop Cafe

Sometime during Spring 1999

One day in the newsroom I got bored while hard at work (like this nnnnneeeeeeever happens). I happened to speculate on what might be the case if Gina M., the little petite (and cute, I might add) chick over in the Features department, started up a business with me. I think she had a stupid ass frat rat as her boyfriend. The result after a few minutes of combination fuckaroundathon and creative thinking was this:

GINA'S ROADSIDE TRUCKSTOP CAFE

"You slaughter it...we sautee' it!" It beats playing with your food!" --Gina M.

BURGERS

PETITE BURGER-- For those my size. .99
BIG BURGER--It's a bigger burger than the above 1.99
BIG ASS BURGER--It's a big ass burger. Self explanatory! 2.99
SUPER BIG ASS BURGER--Once again, self explanatory! 3.39

FRIES
Tater Tots-- .89
Calf Fries-- Nothin beats these 1.29

ROADKILL
Finest Delicacies From America's Highways
Dead Possum
Dead Squirrel
Dead Monkey
Mutilated Fowl
Cooked Pigeon
Skunk with Body Spice
Skunk without Smell Sac

Roadkill Pitty Patter--If you can't decide, this is it. Dead possum, skunk, squirrel, dead bird and monkey all rolled up into one BIG ASS casserole with gravel from car bumpers optional.