Suki the Boltess almost was able to put me under her spell early in the 2008 season and have me root for her perpetually suckass baseball team, the San Diego Padres. When the Padres began the season disastrously, however, she demanded that I renounce my citizenship in Petco Nation. Too bad, because I was gearing up for trips to San Diego and treating the locals to my obnoxious noxious repertoire, Padre style:
"YOU MOTHERFUCKERS SUCK!"
"BLUE, WAKE THE FUCK UP!"
"OH FUCK YESSS!! That's what I'm talkin 'bout , baby!!! Nice stroke!!!"
"God fuckin' damn you, you motherfucker!! SHIT!!!"
"Oh fuck yeah, fuck yeah bitch!!! YEEEE!!!!"
"IT'S TREVOR TIME, BITCHES!!!"
"YEAHHHH!!! JUST ANOTHER PADRE VICTORY, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!"
Somehow, I just never saw us as a match.
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